full time ministry

what does it mean...???

I think it means to live life according to God. to spread the gospel to many. to do what you are called to do, love.

the phrase "full time ministry" i feel like has gotten a different meaning. to work in a church, nonprofit, be a missionary abroad. so most times than not people strive for that because of this notion that we are called to full time ministry (the false meaning of it). People are tortured by their current situation and are determined to find a job where they CAN do "full time ministry."

of course there is so many factors to why one should leave their job for follow a different road.
anyways i just want to maybe change the meaning of this phrase and even those that use the second meaning of the phrase and work in a church etc. should not say that anymore.

we teach and encourage people that they should use their life and whatever surrounds them is their ministry. if a person is a Christ follower is in full time ministry.

me working at a church isnt any more glamorous than if i was working somewhere else. i envy those who take every opportunity where ever they are at to share God's love. they see the opportunities and take it, whether how hard or easy.

thoughts of today

this morning I thought to myself, out of no where...or somewhere I guess i just dont know..i thought to myself and God, if something tragic happened to me I want to be that person that has tremendous faith and courage only that could come from Him. I want, without a doubt, faith that shows He is with me and rules my heart and life and what ever this world throws at me, He will overcome it. and then i dont need something tragic to happen...to be that person, I can be that person, I am that person...somewhere inside of me, God has made me new, He dwells inside of me, that faith and courage i talk about is there... He just needs to draw it out...I need to trust and let it out.

excitement and joy is dwelling inside of me and i love experiencing it. I love sharing it with people. I cant help but tell people of my excitement and joy God has given me. He makes me long for Him that I have never felt before. I am excited to spend every morning with Him, to talk to Him, to listen...I am learning how to listen to Him. I am learning a lot when I spend more and more time with Him.

I have moments when i just want someone to sit in front of me so I can just talk about everything thats on my mind and just listen. I have lots of moments when I just want someone to talk to me and tell me everything thats on their mind so I can listen. i like it when someone is processing right in front of me. its funny how much i love to listen.

I love birthdays and I love to celebrate peoples life, but i also like celebrating people when its not their birthday. people should be celebrated not in an idolizing way, but to be encouraged. Living in this world is hard and exhausting and tough.

i love that beauty is everywhere and not just in one set structure.

i love it when I am just walking across the street and the wind blows a certain way and all of a sudden I am caught in a moment, He is trying to tell me something in that moment or He is just walking by my side expressing His presence. Its so cool!

to be known or not to be known....

so i was thinking about people and how people are and why they do the things they do. And one of the things i was thinking about is how people interact with other people. How much they let the other person know about themselves.

I like asking questions. Its how i get to know people. I have found that some people like questions, they like to be known. and then there are the people that dont. they squirm in their seat as I ask simple or maybe tough questions that would open them up and they cant get around it unless they lied in which I can pick out the liars. why is it to be "known" is such a risk for a lot of people? whats the worse that can happen? Each person is worthy to be known. the counter might be "God knows me, thats enough, people hurt each other and getting hurt....well hurts" I would say to this that "because God knows you and created you is the exact reason other people should know you too. You re his creation to be shared, to be known to the world."

are you following me? oh i hope so.

referring to the "people hurt other people" , yea getting hurt is a risk and it sucks but God is there to pick you up, hold you, heal you, but enjoying and being in friendships, relationships is the big prize and I think out weighs the risk. i learn so much from my friends because I take a risk and so do they but we both know its for a good cause. We grow and learn together and God shines through

I am sad for those who dont take the risk to be known.
some might say i am avoiding to be known because i am always asking the questions...but not true, I will happily answer any question anyone asks, i have nothing to hide, no dark secrets. and I want to be known... but people just don't ask.


there is just so much that is missed out on and we dont even know it.
one of my friends told me it is impossible to know and spend time with everyone you meet...and i said oh it is possible...people just dont make the time, allow space to connect.

i guess this is all i have right now on the subject, its a work in progress and i am jsut stating what i have experienced and yea my opinion

tis the season to...spend?

Every year I shop and buy the gifts for my family and friends. Some people I take my time and try and find the perfect gift and then some get the norm gift ie: scarf, purse, gloves, hat, T-shirt, sweater, etc. all good gifts but zero thought goes into the gift. I run around the malls and store hop at the wee hours to get every single person a gift. My body aches, my feet hurt and I just don't enjoy the gift giving process.

This year is a new season, and I want to enjoy everything that's good about it. Jesus, family, friends, cookies, Christmas movies, eggnog, Charlie Brown, tree decorating, ice skating and so much more. I enjoy finding the perfect gift for each person and seeing their reaction when they open it. But then it has become work, hard labor...trying to find a parking spot, getting stuck in traffic, standing long lines, getting sneezed on by strangers, pushed, yelled at...its just not worth it anymore. the craziness of it all.

Recently I have been convicted of being in debt so I have made a pack to pay off my credit cards by the end of this year, this factor leaves a lack of funds. So I decided not to buy any Christmas gifts this year. At first this idea didn't sit well with me, "how could I not buy gifts?!?!?!" and so I let this uneasiness sit for a while and I started to wonder "why?" and started asking myself "does it really matter if I don't buy gifts?" "will they not love me as much?" "am I so ingrained in this system that I can't pull myself away?" I was worried about telling my family that I wasn't going to buy them gifts, I was worried they wouldn't understand. I told my mom, she nodded in agreement and approval. I hung out with my dad and broke the news to him, kind of understood but wanted to give me money to buy gifts, he is a gift giver. I appreciated the thought but forcefully declined. I say "forcefully" only towards myself, I think God has so much to teach me through this and taking his money would be the easier way out and "OH I sooooo wanted to take the easy way out"

The thought of not doing or getting anyone anything still left me feeling uneasy, so I started thinking of things that I can get people. Things that will truly come from the heart and that I really want to give people this season, something that won't cost a thing.

This season is going to be the start of something new, a new path perhaps.
I guess my question to you is...whats this season going to be for you?